Not One Less

In darkness we search to no vail

Alone in mind we cannot tame

As wild as the wayward

You kept us safe in your palms

Going beyond yourself for us

Not one less as you guide us relentlessly

The world may not have changed

But we have as you have cared for us

Unconditionally with compassion and kindness

The divine path is YOU

As not one less

On bended knees, We bow down.


Cradle in Buddha's Arms.mp3




(Reflections on my dharma journey)

When a rather unexpected turn in my past relationship hit on me years ago, depression , loneliness, anger, hatred was my daily emotional mode for me. Life had no purpose , no direction. I was mentally tired and soon it took toil on me physically too. The healing journey seem long, bleak and the mental torture was painful. I began to look like a panda in the morning (waking up with dark circles under my eyes ) with a bad hair do daily and a zombie at night . I decided not to put myself through that one day , i had to acknowldge , accept that experience and move on , do something for myself as i know i deserve better .

I started going for classes taught by Geshela ,with the basics foundation teachings like LAM RIM (stages of the path to enlightement), Lojong (a mind training practice) amongst other teachings (as in the ebooks and audio section.) Soon. I found comfort , peace and solace in the teachings , started to reflect upon my past and present experiences in a different light. I also realized that in order to receive good energies, i need to 'declutter' my mind from my self inflicted negativities and focus on the positive. I have been a prisoner locked in my own deluded mind far too long...

The past should be left where it should be, in the past. I often try to 'step out 'of my life to look in and note down the positives verses the delusions. Take experiences, good or bad as a learning curve, stop dwelling in this miserable state of mind , i told myself.

When Geshela came , he was like a beacon that desended here, he looked like my long lost friend (minus the moustache) , he is always humble and friendly and as daily classes and pujas was held , gradually my interest grew vertically while my waistline grew horizontally.... hmmm...Geshela's door is always open to anyone , he makes time for anyone that seeks his advice.

Geshela made the classes interesting , simple and straight forward eventhough he often says that his English is terrible but we find it perfect and endearing and his pronouciation on certain words made it funny too. He has his own way of pronoucing 'west', 'participate' , 'patience' ( when i was doing some minor transcribing work for center , i would replay that part many times so i can get a few hearty giggles out of it. ). And he is also no ordinary lama, i think he has this hidden 'antenna' above , he would already know what you are thinking about as he would say it out when the thought would just come to your mind a minute ago... (i wonder if he knows that i am often thinking what time he will finish so i can scoot off for supper after class or if he noticed me 'practicing' sleep yoga at the back of the class ), Perhaps thats how my 'generous' waistline came about .

Each of us have different level of understanding , acceptance and experiences in life and in our spiritual quest, perhaps one thing to keep in mind is not to give up or be discouraged no matter how hard it is . Buddhism is an experience, we need to live and breathe it in order to understand the essence of the teachings and to practice it. Its like a seedling that requires watering to grow so does this dharma 'seed'. Looking back, i am happy that i went through that dark chapter in my life as that only lead to a new blissful journey for me , knowing the Dharma and meeting my precious Gurus whom i will be eternally grateful to.

I like to dedicate every single virtuous act of merit past and present to the long and healthy life of His Holiness Dalai Lama, Lama Zopa Rinpoche, Dagri Rinpoche , Phuntsok Rinpoche and for the swift return of the sweetest ever, our Guru Papa, Lama Lhundrup Khenrinpoche and the main source of my daily motivation , Geshe Tenzin Zopa, may their holy wishes be fulfilled and stay on forever to turn the wheel of dharma for us and for generations to come.

And may this beautiful experience guide you along the right path every moment, every day and in every stage of your life.

- Angeline-